Head-games. (with a capital H)

My confidence fails me,
Every now and again;
When it strays, it’s replaced with
Paranoia, not zen.

Happiness, laughter …
All my sunny rays,
Have turned to this uninviting,
Hazy shade of grey.

Photo Edited by JuSteph4All

I’m unlovable, uncaring,
UN-everything, it’s true …
however,
If I’m so NOT anything,
Then how am I blue?

My sense of humor,
Nowhere to be found.
It’s in there somewhere,
It’s buried deep down.

Why does this happen?
Is it only me?
I’m someone who’s typically filled
With smiles, life and glee.

I’m hideous, you say?
Right down to the bone …
If I’m so NOT anything,
Why can’t I be alone?

Alone from the voices
I call my very own …
The words are so harsh!
Haven’t I grown?!

GO! Go away!

I HAVE grown, but

To you, this I say ..

Yes, go away, however
Don’t go too far,
As tomorrow is another day …
For my head and heart to spar.

Do I really want you gone?
Why can’t you read my mind?
For there are billions of words that swirl in my head,
Go ahead … look, seek, tell me what you find.

It’s blank you say?
Whatever. Look deeper
See clearer … Dig through,
And please tell me, am I a keeper?

NO!

NO?

I am a keeper …
Of secrets, of stories,
Of money, of time,
I am the keeper of poetics that rhyme.

It’s not enough. It is enough.
I’m not. I am.
This brain of mine, is rough …
however,
For today, I AM ENOUGH!

Photo taken by JuSteph4All

 

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